G.I. Joe- Rise of the Cobra

GI Joe- the Rise of Cobra

Yes, I went to see this movie. I know what you’re thinking. Why would anyone go see it? And why is it at the top of the Box Office charts? Well, I got out of this movie exactly what I expected to get out of it: a really good time with lots of shit blowing up. It didn’t ever really feel like a movie… it felt like more of a video game that was, oh, non-participatory. There was a little bit too much animation at times, which annoyed me. Until I discovered something.

I discovered that once I pictured the movie in cartoon form, (trust me, it wasn’t hard to do- there’s already so much CGI that it’s animated almost constantly) I found it ten times more enjoyable. Seriously! All the voices (which, up until I decided to just treat it as such, had irritated the shit out of me) sounded like they came out of your Saturday morning super-hero cartoons, comic style. In particular, Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s character, who sounded like what I suppose Darth Vader would sound like if he had emotions.

Plus, the characters spend most of their time bailing out other characters, which leaves the only real character development to be shown through cheesy flashbacks and sharply cut one-liners.

Basically, what we have here is a movie with hardly any plot (and the plot that is there isn’t really explained- ok, fuck that, nothing really makes sense) and shitty acting.

So why did I enjoy it? Three reasons.

1. The music. You know how I feel about music and movies, and this movie had a killer soundtrack which heightened the suspense.

2. It was exciting. Sure, watching a video game isn’t the same as playing a video game, but watching a jet fly behind a missile (and watching it from the jet’s perspective) is still pretty damn exciting.

3. There will be a sequel. At least, if there isn’t, the entire movie was pointless. I mean, just look at the title: GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra. The entire movie was just a setup for the actual story of Cobra (as ridiculous as that sounds). And yes, it may be a total marketing ploy, but it kind of makes you want to see the sequel when they don’t explain shit in the first movie. Tarantino did it. Spielberg did it. Hell, I don’t think the first Harry Potter movie would have been made if they didn’t know seven more would be coming. It gives you hope that you’ll find out more to the story.

And hope that you’ll get to see more shit blown up.

Anyway, I would say wait until this movie has been on DVD for a while, rent it for a dollar, and then go borrow your neighbor’s flatscreen. It’s the perfect type of movie for a party- exciting, and you don’t actually have to pay attention to know what’s going on. Plus, you’ll be imitating the villain’s voice because it’s just that ridiculous, and trust me, that will be infinitely more entertaining drunk. 


Peace!


The Movie Mistress

Ponyo

Speaking of children's movies, I recently saw Hayao Miyazaki's Ponyo, and I have to say that it was absolutely delightful. No creepy heads were chopped off, no mothers being shot, there visits to prison, and there was no Insane Asylum involved.

The film was an updated version of the classic story of The Little Mermaid, and it was beautiful in the sense that everyone in the film seems to accept that the magic of Ponyo and her family exists. I think that not a lot of animators take advantage of the suspension of disbelief that persists within this genre, but Miyazaki creates a world in which anything is possible and in doing so breaks the divide between animation and real life. In his doing so, we are sucked into that world, and so while I was watching Ponyo turn into a little girl, I completely believed that it could happen. The thing I loved about it was that the mother, Lisa, accepts it too! A lot of children's movies (like Return to Oz) put this barrier between adults and children that allows children to believe and adults to not believe (in whatever the movie happens to be promoting). Yet, Ponyo made it completely natural for magical things to happen and for everyone to accept them.

Another thing I loved about the movie was the animation, which was drawn by hand. It has a softness and smoothness that Disney used to have before they discovered the use of computers. The attention to detail is astounding, and I found myself watching every inch of the screen so that I wouldn't miss anything. And I mean anything. The pictures are so fluid that upon watching I breathed a sigh of relief at not having to watch something created on a computer. It gets tiring, you know? It's nice to know that I'm looking at, well, art. Moving art, that is.

The only thing that disconcerted me was the ending. It came too quickly, and you'll understand what I mean if you watch the movie. I won't give anything away, but I was expecting more conflict. I have read the original story of The Little Mermaid, and I was interested in seeing what direction this story would take (knowing that it is a children's film, however, you can easily guess). I also didn't like the song. I mean, please, I GET what mood I'm supposed to be in after watching. I don't need the main characters singing.

Anyway, I've said my bit, and if you haven't seen this movie. Go see it. It will restore your faith in animation. AND there are no exploding fiery pumpkins.