Seeing as the summer has (almost) started to die down, I've begun to watch trailers again. And for the most part, I like what I see. Up first, the one that everyone's talking about:
Thankfully, this comes out today, so I won't have to wait long. Score! Oh, and did anyone else see this and think, "Hey- it's Superman!" or am I just a tad too obsessed?
Aaand, this one I saw last night:
Even though the trailer was a little long for my liking, it still left me super stoked to see this movie, which comes out in December. Let's just hope they don't make it 3-D. No, really. It's getting old.
However, as I was trailer surfing, I also found this:
While I sensed this was an inevitability, it still brings a groan to my chest, as it means the movie industry is STILL NOT LISTENING TO ITS FANS. Seriously- did anyone actually think the third movie was good? If so, please let me know. I mean, I know people who liked it for what it's worth, but be real: I, myself, only enjoyed the third movie because I knew (or thought I knew) it meant the end of the franchise. Guess not. And didn't you just love that they had to name-drop Penelope Cruz to get people excited?
Well, ok, so I saw a different televised version. But it doesn't really matter, because it still made me wonder why the executive producers of movies keep making stupid films about talking dogs. They're never good! Seriously.
Let's take a look back into history:
Cats and Dogs
Cats and Dogs 2 (as if the first one wasn't bad enough)- not out yet, but seeing as it will probably go straight to video, I'll count it.
The Shaggy Dog
Hotel for Dogs
Beverly Hills Chihuahua
Ok, I think you get the picture and won't subject you to anymore. I just don't understand it. It's like whenever a movie about animals is made, there has to be default criteria:
1. Bad acting
2. Bad synching of sound and image when the animals talk
3. Some sort of choreographed dancing, and
4. That terrible cover of Shaggy's "Bow Wow Wow" that has been remastered specifically for movie trailers
Now, put those together. Why the fuck would anyone want to go see this combination?
And yet they still keep coming!! Each one seems to get progressively worse and worse, and being in one of these movies a career buster for actors. Where did Tim Allen go? Or Lisa Kudrow? We most likely won't see Owen Wilson anymore.
Can someone please explain to me why this exists? I just don't understand.
Peace!
The Movie Mistress
*****UPDATE: This was the other trailer I just HAD to include.
Let's look at the wonderful acting chops on this kid:
I'm not going to comment. Instead, I'll leave it to this girl:
The only reason I'm remotely excited is because I'll get to refine and rewrite my Twilight Drinking Game. But I thought I'd let you watch this girl freak out anyway, since it's immensely amusing.
Being a fan of Jeff Dunham, I had heard that he was in a new movie and decided to scope it out. This is what I found:
My feelings are mixed. Do I sit through what looks to be a ridiculously bad movie in order to see one of my favorite comedians get screen time? Or do I skip it and wait for the 30 seconds he appears in to be broadcasted on Youtube?
Watching this trailer made me realize that outside of The Office, I'm really not a fan of Steve Carell. He seems to play the same pratfall-inducing character in every single movie, save for Dan in Real Life, which was boring. I also find it fascinating that Paul Rudd has suddenly become this huge star overnight, since before Knocked Up he was just "that guy from Clueless."
I guess I'm just sort of ambivalent to this movie because it's been a while since I've seen a mainstream comedy that was actually intelligent. I mean, The Hangover won Best Comedy at the Golden Globes. While it was funny, it was just all mindless. And just by watching the trailer for this movie I know that the whole point is to make fun of stupid people. I can already tell that by the end of the movie, the message will be that "idiots are people too." The supposed friendship of Steve Carell and Paul Rudd just screams it.
Well, yes, so then why make a movie where the point is for people to laugh about it? Why not make a social commentary film instead?
The last legitimately funny movie I saw that was made by a major movie studio (and by major studio I mean Paramount, Columbia, Focus, Disney...) was Enchanted, and even that was targeted toward a specific niche. And I can tell you that if Susan Sarandon hadn't been in it, my admiration for it would have been much lower.
What I'm trying to say is, "Don't do it, Jeff Dunham!" Keep doing standup. Because right now, there's nothing out there for you in terms of comedy. You'll end up like Dane Cook. Seriously- did anyone even see Employee of the Month? Do this movie and then STOP.
So... I've heard a lot of hype about this movie. Like, a ton. Two of my favorite magazines have featured interviews with Paul Bettany, and I keep seeing mini trailers in the movie theatres- you know the type, the ones that flash a bunch of clips but don't actually tell you what the fuck the movie is about so you're just confused. From those, it looked kind of exciting. So I decided I would look up the actual trailer on the internet. Being a generally R-rated person, I watched the R-rated trailer, and this is what I saw:
Am I the only one that thinks this just looks fucking stupid? Seriously. It's the fucking apocalypse! There's so much you can do with that! An endless row of fucking brilliant possibilities, and they have to highlight a badly CGI'd old woman on the ceiling and a not-at-all scary ice cream truck freak reminiscent of Amy Adams ala Smallville.
Look familiar?
I've decided to make a list to organize all my thoughts about my very disappointing viewing experience.
What Not to Do When Making A Trailer: 1) Make it fucking FIVE MINUTES LONG 2) Include all the dialogue scenes when it's an action movie 3) Show us every special effect so that we know exactly what we're going to watch, and 4) Don't say what the movie is about until a minute into the trailer. The point of a trailer is to get your attention, not lose it within the first ten seconds.
It makes me sad to see trailers like this because here you have an exciting story and potential (I mean, what's better than the Biblical Apocalypse?) ruined by shitty planning. Who the fuck thought that a demonic ice cream man would be cool? I mean, I get that it's hard to make CGI look realistic. If that's the case, just don't animate! Good old fashioned make-up and costuming works just as well, if not better. Can you imagine the faun from Pan's Labyrinth being animated? I thought so. And is the old woman supposed to be funny? Because I fucking laughed my ass off when she climbed up the wall. It didn't seem like a time when you're supposed to laugh, and all I could think was, "this is fucking stupid."
Am I alone in thinking the creators of this highly anticipated movie could have done better? You know something's bad when it isn't even out yet and you're already debating whether to rent or not. Which, I think I will. Because it doesn't seem worth it to me to see in the theatres. I will see it to try and prove myself wrong. But I can wait a while to do so.
I don't know about you, but most romantic comedies involving old people skeez me out a bit. I mean, do you remember About Schmidt? Not that that was a romantic comedy, but I never, ever want to see Jack Nicholson and Kathy Bates in a hot tub together ever again. And then there was Last Chance Harvey, Nights in Rodanthe and Whatever Works (which skeezes me out even more because of the My Fair Lady complex). It's as if romantic comedies are moving to an older age gap.
...a classic.
Maybe I'm just going crazy. But it just feels like my generation doesn't dig When Harry Met Sally. Which is sad, because it's a really good movie. It just feels like more effort is being put into the rom-coms for older generations these days. While It's Complicated looks really good, I still don't know how I feel about watching older people have sex. Maybe when I'm that age I'll feel differently, but for now they just remind me of my parents, which is fucking weird as shit. So while Hollywood is popping up with really creative romantic comedies for the baby boomers, my generation is stuck with 27 Dresses and Leap Year: formulated, by-the-book, and, well, boring. Really. I could have stopped watching The Accidental Husband (which went straight-to-video, in case you were wondering) at the beginning because I knew exactly what was going to happen. I honestly have no idea what will happen at the end of It's Complicated, the same way that no one could predict what happened at the end of My Best Friend's Wedding.
All I'm saying is, just try, Hollywood! Try. You hit it on the nose with The Proposal. People my age dug it. We can appreciate chick flicks too if they start being good again. I don't want to be stuck watching people three times my age fall in love every time I want to be a fucking girl. Yes, romantic comedies are pretty predictable, but they shouldn't seem thrown together! 27 Dresses didn't even try to put in any original or realistic material. I found it so fucking boring. Seriously.
...not something I really want to see...
This movie looks good. I'll go see it. I just wish I could see an ad for a movie like that involving people closer to my age. What do you think?
Now, ladies and gentlemen, can you tell me why I'm getting the weirdest feeling of dejavue?
Think back.
Fifteen years back.
Is it coming to you?
Okay, here's a hint:
Is it just me, or has Hollywood moved from remakes to just blatantly reusing ideas and trying to make them seem original? I mean, yes, I get it, every rom-com has the pretty much the same formula- if they didn't, people wouldn't go see them. However, if there is a storyline that already happened that
1) had better actors
2) had a more believable plotline, and
3) hadn't already been done,
you probably should just think of another movie to make. Romantic comedies are a dime a dozen- the least you can do is think of something original. Why do you think Knocked Up was so immensely popular?
Now, I don't know about you, but I respect Amy Adams. I really think she is a genuinely good actor. It makes me sad to see her in something like this, which just looks, well, bad. However, as the Movie Mistress, I don't discriminate and will try to see every movie that I can and give it a fair shot. But hear me out here as I explain why this movie will most likely fail and why French Kiss worked:
Leap Year takes place (I'm assuming) currently. So when Amy Adams' BF tells her he's going abroad for a while, because we live in a modern world, you would think that the most logical thing for her to do is to buy him an international cell phone. We have Facebook! We have video chat! We are globalized. This is not our parents' long distance relationship, people. We are liberated.
Instead, however, she decides she's so desperate to be engaged and so afraid he'll leave her while abroad ("if you like it then you should have put a ring on it!") that she goes to propose to him herself. As if women can ONLY propose to men on Leap Year. Any other time? Nope. Sorry. Tough luck. Women, equal to men? Pshhh. Preposterous! Proposing is a man's job, like working and voting. At least, according to dear old Hollywood.
French Kiss, on the other hand, took place in 1995. So it was pretty believable that when Meg Ryan's fiance called her, she would have no way of ever getting in touch with him unless she traveled to Paris herself and visited his hotel. Plus, she had way more motivation to travel there- some French chick stole her man! What reason did Amy Adams have to go? Oh right. If she didn't, he might NEVER propose and then she would be shamed by reaching thirty without a ring! Horrors.
And the troubles Meg faced- pickpockets, U.S. embassy nightmares, were completely legit, unlike plugging in a blackberry and shutting down power for an entire town (as Amy Adams apparently does)- which, by the way, happens in another romantic comedy called Just Married. Remember that one? Also familiar. Like I said, we are in a modern world, and I'm pretty sure that even in northern UK they are equipped with technology. Globalization is a beautiful thing.
I'll probably see this movie. If I remember to, since it doesn't come out until June. But judging by the fact that the trailer is coming out now, my bet is that it will be a straight to video. So maybe I'll pick it up there. Buuuut I might just get French Kiss instead.
And the one thing that went through my head was, Anjelina Jolie looks really fucking old. But I googled her right afterward, and she's only thirty-five! So then I watched the trailer again. And there was that thought again. Has she been botoxing lately or something? There's just something about her and this movie that don't mesh. I'm not sure why, but she just looks silly. It's like she is trying to recreate Lara Croft ten years later. I mean, this movie looks awesome, but just watching the trailer makes me tired. How am I going to feel with two hours of run-down Anjelina? Fuck.
You can't do it all, Anjie. It's ok to focus your energy on orphaned African children and play more quiet roles like A Mighty Heart. No one will knock you. But I'm telling you, something here just didn't click with me. And I generally respect Anjelina Jolie as an actress. I'm not saying this out of spite or because I think she is better at community service. I'm saying that sometimes, if you're doing too much, it shows. Slow down, Anjie! You don't need to play the action star now even if in the past you were badass and awesome. It's ok- people will still love you.
Am I the only one whose seeing this when watching the trailer?
If you haven't noticed, I haven't been on for a while. Please enjoy these lovely upcoming movie trailers while I sort out some personal responsibilities.
So, I'm not going to lie- I blogged briefly about this trailer already. But it just hit me today that this movie is coming out THIS MONTH. Fuck yeah. Probably won't be as good as the first (sequels never are), but it still looks totally badass. Are you ready?
Is he done doing incredibly overdone caricatures and silly children's films? Probably not. However, this new film of his looks funny, dark, and awesome. I can't wait to see it...
So... I saw this as coming out in theatres today (well, yesterday, now that it's two in the morning), and I thought, Wow! A movie with Jena Malone, Leelee Sobieski, and Chloe Sevigny. All fantastic, strong actresses that I admire. I want to see what this is about. Well, I watched the trailer.
And it just made me want to complain. Why? Because I have no idea what the fuck this movie is about. A trailer is supposed to make you want to see the movie, not make you confused. I had the same reaction with Inception, but it was only the teaser I saw in theatres, so I forgave them. This movie, though, came out on the 11th. The trailer should be pretty legit. Instead, it's just reviews! And I say, fuck that. I can read those on the back of the box when I rent the movie. I want scenes! I want to know what I'm getting myself into. No one wants to watch a movie blindly- it's like walking into a rave without knowing that half the people there are going to be on drugs. Which, for all we know, this movie could have been made by people on drugs. See for yourself:
Do you see what I mean? The trailer doesn't sell me at all. And that really bothers me. It's as though the director expects you to see it just because it's indie without trying to want you to see it. As though the type of people watching the trailer are the people who would go see it anyway after seeing the description. The trailer doesn't even try. I don't want to watch a trailer that says how great other people thought the film was. I want to see it for myself, and I want the trailer to want me to see it for myself. Just because you're indie doesn't mean you don't have to sell your movie to your audience!
Okay, I'm done with my rant. Have a great weekend and see lots of good trailers.
The anticipation builds! I don't know why I am psyched for this movie, but I am, and I think it's awesome that Drew Barrymore is doing a US tour to promote it as well as meet-and-greets with actual Roller Derby-ers. Here is summary of the article telling more about this:
Intriguing. I hope Gretchen Mol does not trap herself in a corner by only doing 1950s dramas (although she was fantastic in The Notorious Bettie Page). Still, I am excited to go rent this. I love a good scandal.
Movies Coming Out This Fall That I’m excited about:
This Fall seems to be a very exciting movie season. Hopefully, it will make up for the not-so-great movie season that was this summer. Always an optimistic, I will list the features coming out in Sept- Dec that could put my faith back in Hollywood:
It’s Fight Club meets Where the Heart Is. I love intelligent movies that are just commentaries on American life. Michael Cera- awkward yet again, but by now we’ve all just accepted and moved on.
We’ve learned in the past that movies involving the supernatural seem to have good marriages with high school settings (I Was a Teenage Vampire, Teen Wolf… okay, maybe not Teen Wolf, but you get my drift). Plus, if Diablo Cody wrote it, it should be good.
Tim Burton. The end of the World. Computer animation. Sounds like enough information to make me see it. Plus, they took enough effort to time it so that the movie comes out on 9-9-09.
A psychological thriller with Michael C. Hall in it?!? No way! I hate to see what this will do to his career (typecasting is an actor’s worst fear), but the film itself looks like a good ride.
You wouldn't be able to guess from the title what this movie is about. Actually, when I saw the ad for the trailer I thought it was going to be about farmers. Instead, I see what looks like a hilarious comedy with... wait for it.... George Clooney, Ewan McGregor, and Jeff Bridges. What an unusual medley. Don't believe me? See for yourself.
When was the last time Disney made an animated movie? Oh, right. 2004. Five years ago- that movie about the farm animals. Don’t remember it? You shouldn’t. It was garbage. However, I am verrry excited for this feature, and I’m sure everyone is asking the same question: is this the movie to put Disney back on the map? Or is it a lost cause? Because honestly, right now, I think without Pixar it would crumble. And that would be a sad day for animated films. I just wish that half the trailer didn't consist of shots from other Disney films.
